bleeding

I am ... insane...
i think... im back to where i be in the past...
those thoughts coming like waves...
i think too much...
I am willing to hurt myself...
i wonder if its gonna make me feel better...
This feelings drive me to insanity...
i can not share things easily...
i even talk to differents people with differents masks...
i wonder who am I now...
I wear too many masks...


Im facing an irony that could be possibly described as ... *i dont know the word...*

I've ever heard someone told me this phrase...
" i hate being weak.. thats why ..i want to be stroger in every single day...G bangga jadi kuat... bahkan sampai sejauh ini... but ..kadang2.. jadi kuat ituh gak enak2 bgt... sometimes u wish u are not this strong..."

Irony isnt it?